After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
