how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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