just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
