wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's blow job season.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
