i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
