You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I puked a lego.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
