I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
