So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
