is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
