Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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