are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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