I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize