okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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