i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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