You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
