:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
