i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
