Non-Jews are for practice
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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