Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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