Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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