You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
