What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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