if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
