We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
