Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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