Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
