It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
