dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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