it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
