How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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