Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This is the high leading the old right now
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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