There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
