I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
