Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
