I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
