Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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