We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
