Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
