Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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