My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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