Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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