sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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