its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
