peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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