I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I touched a dick in church today
I think people are normalizing furries
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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