SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
