Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I will be naked everywhere
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize