Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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