How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
