Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize