Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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