I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
