Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
