I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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