Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
dude. I can hear the air.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
