You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
