no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Randomize
