How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
