She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
