for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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