Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
