I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
