no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Drunk is not a location!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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