things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
