I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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