I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
