I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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