Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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